Work..

[emony]

I think I need to develop a crack habit, to make my life bearable - give me something to do, something to work for (money to buy more crack), a bit of peace and that nice, floaty "nothing matters but getting more crack" feeling.

Or maybe something less harsh than crack. That seems a bit of a big step. Maybe some kind of prescription drugs. Painkillers? Or anti-depressants maybe. I don't know. I wish I could take something though, and just not be here anymore. Not in a suicidal way. I still want to be here. I just don't want to know that I'm here.

Comments

[caitlen.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

maybe something light and fuzzy? like.. chocolate and St Johns Wort?

[emony.livejournal.com]

Isn't caffeine a depressant?

[indehed.livejournal.com]

If it is, that sucks. Because I planned to be dependant on the stuff by age 30.

[rach74.livejournal.com]

Tramadol has a pleasing effect so I heard- hallucinations, floatyness- general not knowing where is ness!

[emony.livejournal.com]

You mean you aren't already? ;)

[emony.livejournal.com]

Sweet, I'll look in to that one.

[caitlen.livejournal.com]

it's the chocolate that makes you feel good :)

caffine speeds your heart up, and hense speeds your metabolism up, so if you stop taking it regularly suddenly, your body depresses back to it's normal rhythm.

There's an argument about whether it's actually a depressant. ( http://www.nida.nih.gov/JSP/MOD6/cards.pdf NIDA or NIH or whatever) puts it under the stimulant catagory, which it is (see above), but others ( http://www.hhmi.org/cgi-bin/askascientist/highlight.pl?kw=&file=answers%2Fneuroscience%2Fans_010.html ) put forward that large amounts can cause a depressive effect, and one can start feeling over-anxious. (But for example, the caffine in one or two cups of coffee a day is beneficial.

I don't think a bar of chocie will have this effect though :) Especially dark chocolate, which is good for your heart :)

And I'll stop now :) I found St Johns Wort helpful :)

[caitlen.livejournal.com]

gee, if you aren't, what are you doing? drink some coffee! eat some chocolate! *grin*

see below for little explaination of effects of caffine :)

[graculus.livejournal.com]

I recommend good chocolate (the higher the cocoa content the better) and a new job, not necessarily in that order. ;)

[indehed.livejournal.com]

Not quite yet. One day it'll be caffeine jitters and demanding a runner go get me my goddamn COFFEE!

[indehed.livejournal.com]

coffee and coke for me and i'm getting there ;) I'm not a chocolate fan and never have been alas.

[emony.livejournal.com]

You truly are a fount of knowledge. Thanks :) I think a little dark chocolate is in order. Purely for medicinal reasons, obviously, not because I love it so. *cough* ;)

[emony.livejournal.com]

You truly are the wisest person I know.

[caitlen.livejournal.com]

heyheyhey - it's all about the caffine!! Go the coke!! Even better, go the coffee!!! *is a massive coffee fan*

[caitlen.livejournal.com]

*giggle* hey - ask the caffine addict a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g about coffee/chocolate/coke and she'll come up with info :)

I tell you what, I've gone and gotten some dark chocolate myself... mmmm.. maybe more is required...

[nausica2.livejournal.com]

Coming a bit late, but definitely Dark chocolate, 70% cocoa minimum. Here Lindt produces a 95% cocoa one that is to die for.

not only is good for your heart, it also has acts as an anti-depressant because it stimulates endorphins and serotonin.

(((hugs)))

[emony.livejournal.com]

It's never too late to talk chocolate *g*

I'm not actually that partial to Lindt. I know it's very British of me, but I prefer our chocolate with its low amounts of actual cocoa and high amounts of sugar and milk and other non-cocoa things. I'll see what I can find though. *g*

[rach74.livejournal.com]

what about Thorntons? They have a gorgeous new range called 'Eden'
They're lovely!

And tramadol aside I think Grac's advice rocks :)

[emony.livejournal.com]

Thorntons is definitely a good plan, although there isn't one here in Sunningdale, and I don't know when I'll get a chance to go to the one in Farnham. Maybe on Saturday.

As do I *G* If only it were that simple to follow it, though.

[cedara]

Chocolate and bananas. In both of them is stuff that is an anti-depressant (serotonin)

... and I recommend a big win in lotto. :)

[emony.livejournal.com]

Thanks *g*

Hahah, I'll do my best .. ;)

[cedara]

*g*

*passes chocolate cake to you in the meantime*

[rach74.livejournal.com]

What you need to do is try and find some dirt on political figures and blackmail into giving you the great job you deserve.

*hugs*

[emony.livejournal.com]

That is a truly excellent plan! *eg* *hugs* Thanks.

[nausica2.livejournal.com]

Ah, chocolate is always a life-saver :P

Yeah, you British people like your chocolate with milk. Here it depends, but I'm the kind of person who got 100% cocoa chocolate bars for my birthday, so... ;)

Anyway, they say that milk reduces the anti-oxidant effect, but I think the anti-depressant propierties sort of stay.

Still, try the high cocoa ones. May take a bit to get used to, but once you're hooked, Cadbury's won't be the same. :PP

[emony.livejournal.com]

They did have some of that 85% Lindt in the shop, but I went for good old British 50%. Mmmm. I do feel better, I must say.

Nothing is better than Cadbury's. Nothing! ;)

[blackgarden.livejournal.com]

I've been taking Vicodin for the exact "crack" reason you gave. It gives you a warm, floaty feeling and everything feels sweet. :D The main side effect I've experienced is nausea, but that's gone away.

Oh, and *hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling so blah.

[fourleftxaviers.livejournal.com]

God, it's weird you say this; I've been feeling the exact same way all day.

Percoset is nice and as strong as I like to go. The downsides for me are faint itchiness and an inability to sleep restfully. But there are days rapid eye movement just doesn't seem that important.

[emony.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks. It was a very temporary, work-related, Monday-morning type of blah that passed with relative ease, so I can't complain. As appealing as taking the edge of might have seemed at 9am yesterday morning, it wouldn't actually have solved the problem at all, or left me in any condition to do anything else that might solve the problem. Raising my, what was it? Seratonin levels, with a bit of chocolate, and then trawling for new jobs is probably the better long-term solution. But thanks. *hugs*

[emony.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes we all feel like that. You just have one of those days where your hormones or whatever (not necessary the Womanly Ones, just the regular ones!) are a bit out of balance, work gets on your back or school or whatever, and it seems an easier option to just not cope with it all. But it's a short-term thing, mostly. Or if it's not it should be, because we can cope and we can get on with our lives, and if things make us feel crappy we have to change them or live with them. Also, the chocolate everyone recommended really did help. Heh. But thanks :)

[fourleftxaviers.livejournal.com]

Yeah, everyone definitely has those days. I don't know if hormones are my problem. Part of it, probably. Usually when I reach the end of my rope it's because of feeling more stress than usual, frequently work-related, frequently coupled with a compromised ability to deal with my stress.

But mostly chocolate, massage, exercise and meditation keep me okay and in line. Now and again, though, I have days where I just don't know what to do with myself.

Clearly I need more massages. *g* I'm glad the chocolate did the trick for you. Powerful stuff, chocolate.