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emonyI really worry about some of you. I know you don't see the whole reality via LJ, because it's just what you want to show that you're showing, and sometimes what you want to show is the bad things. We all need an outlet, and sometimes we pour out our depression and frustration and misery here because there's no one else to listen but we still have to say it somewhere or we'll just go mad. But looking around my flist on a daily basis, I see alcohol abuse and eating disorders and some serious long-term depression, and I want to shake you and tell you for god's sake, sort yourself out. If you're drinking that much, if you're starving yourself so you can be "happier", if you're that miserable with the way your life is, don't hide behind your escape, don't just accept that this is how it's always going to be and that you can't do anything about it. You can. There are *always* options. Maybe the options suck, maybe they'd mean some hard work on your part, maybe they'd be utterly terrifying and maybe the idea of failure fills you with cold, heavy dread. But think of it this way - will it make you feel any worse than you're feeling now? If the answer's no, then you need to stop hiding and start acting. If the problem is depression, go to you doctor and make an appointment to talk to a councellor, and don't wuss out of going. They're there to help you, and if you want to stop feeling the way you're feeling, if you really want your life to improve, you have to stick to going. If the problem is your parents putting unreasonable pressure and trouble into your life, tell them what they're doing to you. Be honest - tell them that you're sorry, you're not perfect, maybe you're not what they wanted, but you're what they got, and you're pretty fucking great, and if they can't love you for being who you are, and if they can't support you when you need help, then maybe you're better off without them.They're your parents and you love them, but if they're what's dragging you down and making your life shit, you need to be away from them, and you need them to know what they're doing to you, and to know that you're not going to let them do it anymore.
Whatever the problem is, the only person who can make things better is you, and the only way you can do that is to take some positive action about it. You're a wonderful person with a lot of good qualities, and you deserve to be happy. I know it. I wish you knew it too.
Whatever the problem is, the only person who can make things better is you, and the only way you can do that is to take some positive action about it. You're a wonderful person with a lot of good qualities, and you deserve to be happy. I know it. I wish you knew it too.
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Date: 2005-03-05 10:04 am (UTC)For example, you totally rock!!
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Date: 2005-03-05 02:01 pm (UTC)P.S. Make yourself read this when you have a shit day.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 01:38 pm (UTC)I will, yes.
To everyone on my flist
Date: 2005-03-06 04:08 pm (UTC)LJ News
- Frienditto can make your locked LJ posts available (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lori/430544.html) to the public (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rm/384986.html), if you are concerned make sure no one on your friends list is signed up.
It was suggested that regular "pruning" of friend lists could ensure that no sneaks who'll do a thing like this is on it. Another way is using Custom Friend Groups, please refer to the LJ FAQ.
Pass this on! (http://www.livejournal.com/users/gsyh/164031.html)
And your post, I don't if I should be grateful or upset that while my options suck there are people out there whose options suck even more. I'm a strong person and I can be comforted by the thought of the future, where I will one day dance in an expensive suit and matching shoes over my parents grave holding the hand of my friends because I will be successful and happy and outdo my parents, and this will hold me through the current little hell as my parents belittle my existence, intelligence, mentality, and general worth, making homophobic comments in my prescence, telling me I'm sick, yelling and yelling. To sum it up, I will live and thrive. Meh.
Re: To everyone on my flist
Date: 2005-03-06 11:21 pm (UTC)On my post, yes, I think you sum it up quite well at the end - live and thrive.
Re: To everyone on my flist
Date: 2005-03-07 02:13 pm (UTC)And your post, yeah. There are instances where I constantly thought of suicide because the moment and the knowlege of what was tomorrow very unbearable, but the closet I came was taking 4 or 5 painkillers at once (you are only suppose to take 2 every 4 hour if you don't want bad things to happen, 8 per day) before stopping years and years ago. I'm too rational, even if the emotions are drowning me, I still go with my head in the end. Having friends help, I don't exactly have a BFF kinda a friend, I don't know anyone long enough, but there is a constant that listens, cheers me up, and needs me. Maybe it's like a Brian Kinney complex I have, but what makes me strong ultimately in the end is responsiblity, not the bullshit kinds my parents try to dump on me, but people I actually care for and want to go on caring for.